What more, Lord? ..or Buddha, Allah… Greater Power? I have been struggling and fighting to get out of our current apt. lease. I thoughht it would be a good idea that as soon as you know how you want the rest of your life to ‘look’ then work like H *** to get it.. hhmm.. I am middle aged.. and I had just always thought life would be easier or kinder, more predictable now.WRONG! OK.. So I fought and discussed with my landlord over our situation and asked if they would let us out of our contract w/o the huge fees so we can be a family that lives in one home again. Today I found out they will let us move out as soon as the end of the month if we want, and only have to pay $600. That is less than one month’s rent. I was ecstatic. I told the manager to write it down and I would discuss it with DH. I told J over the phone and he quickly pointed out that we wouldn’t have the money for a new down payment somewhere. No one will give us a loan..no banks, no family..so he feels stuck, angry and quickly shot me down. .. At the moment he is living with my parents and unlike him when we were living with HIS folks, I feel bad for him. I know my folks are hard to live with, I see them for what tehy are.. and don’t want him to have to stay there longer than necessary. I just feel sad and not supported. I am tired and lonely at doing this single mom thing and I know it will be better for C even if we are poor and never have a house of our own. I just hope something happens to better our situation.My mom isn’t very nice to me lately and last convo she hung up on me so I havev’t called her back. I am sure it will be my fault since I was telling her how I don’t like the way she says hurtful offensive comments to me.. Wow! How dare I!
i’ve complained endlessly about my younger brother…he’s going to be 40 this year but married a woman with a rich father and if it wasn’t enough that he’s been a spoiled baby brother all his life now he can just continue in this lifestyle…what really ticks me off is that my 74 year old mom watches his kids…a lot…and as far as i know he doesn’t pay her…
he cries poverty allllll the time…..mr new iphone, mr 2 new cars, mr FIL paid for 4 years of college and then took his little family to florida for two weeks to celebrate his graduation…..
i get sick of him and his wife posting stupid crap on facebook and all their stupid co dependent friends…egging them on…but this is really the last straw…he wrote that his desktop computer stopped working….should i mention that his wife has a computer and they prob have at least two laptops….
jeff
How much did it set you back? Also, I thought I heard you mention that you assembled it yourself?
Yesterday at 3:40am
Sun at 11:40pm
Jeff – $1501. One dollar over budget. I did a rough comparison of the parts on Newegg, and there was barely any price difference. It was worth it to me to be able to take it out of the box and go.
Debb – I was leaning towards blue, but decided to go with the red.Yesterday at 12:11am
i soooooo wanted to say~~~~and when was the last time you paid you mother for watching your kids?????
sorry just had to vent…i know the ladies here are probably sick of hearing me complain but just in case you thought i was exaggerating…
here’s what is out there..
wanna double date?
I can hear you all saying something as you read that title, something like, ‘why would she even consider??’
But, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I was in therapy, which ended earlier this month. One of the subjects that same up got me thinking.
Well, first off, I wouldn’t be able to honestly get involved in another relationship until I was less pissed off at what’s-’is’name, and that could be a while. Can you imagine, if I met some new guy and, when we talked about our pasts, all I could talk about is how angry I am at him and what a cow she is, blah, blah, blah! Plus, I wonder if I should get tested for HIV? Who knows when he really started sleeping with her and what do we know about her history? What I know about his, I have of course taken on faith just like he did mine – after all I was married 20 years before he and never slept with anyone else during that time. Do you think I should tell him that my 1st husband is probably gay and who knows if he dipped his wick elsewhere while we were intimate??!
Anyway, the other reason is sort of a big one for me. Shithead and I have now been separated for two months. In the three major relationships in my life, this is the longest break I’ve taken!!
Relationship 1 – we’d hardly finished screaming at each other (he was seeing someone else behind my back but was extremely jealous of me having any other friends, etc., thank goodness I didn’t marry HIM!) and I was seeing the next guy. We were actually still living in the same house, I just hadn’t had a chance to move out yet. And, of course, I married that next guy. 20 years later, he and I hadn’t shared a bed in two years, the divorce papers were ready to be lodged with the court, we were amicable and living separate lives and I met the next guy on-line…even though it was 8 months later before we got the chance to live together, we were very much involved at the time the previous relationship was legally ended.
So here I am, trying to ‘count’ as to when THIS relationship actually ended. I guess I need to count from when it ended for me. Don’t know if i should count the day I found out about the affair (11 October) or the day I confronted him with the knowledge (18 October) or the day I actually last saw him (29 November) since he moved out the next day when I was at work. Or maybe I don’t start counting until I feel like I’m really over all the anger and betrayal – which could be a really long time!
There are days when I think that even if I got myself involved in a little lighthearted flirting or casual dating, it might be enough to ‘complete’ the recovery and really bring it home to me that he’s not worth my grief, but I just don’t feel quite ready for that…I feel interested, but not ready. And since I don’t actually have men knocking the door down, I’m going to try not to sweat it too much and just keep ‘recovering’.
It is official. We come home Thursday night and she did not park on our drive. H and second H worked on the beastie and now it is taking up most of the drive so no other car can park there!!!! Fingers crossed they just do not ask any more. But I am sure that they will at some point down the line especially when the beastie is gone.
just for fun….
not sure what she is saying at the end but i bet it’s not…my bike left his socks on the floor, the bikes neighbors are parked in my drive, my bike spends all his time on the computer….
Well H told the neighbours not to park on our drive last night. He went around and said that Second Husband was going to help fix the Beastie and that he would need to be able to park on the drive to jump it. Guess what when we got home. Yes they are still parked on our drive. If they are still there tomorrow H is going to go around again and remind them! Once fixed H is going to move the Beastie so they cannot park on the drive as there will be only enough room for mine and his. Not sure what will happen when we sell the Beast. H promises that the next time they ask we are going to say no! Bust sometimes easier said that done.
I know I harp on this subject but they can gravel their front yard and park on it like several other neighbours. I remember how the neighbours were talking about places they have lived and one of the places they had a shared drive and their previous neighbours would have a go at them about the drive. Now I wonder if they were hogging it and annoyed the other neighbours. It was one of those strange shared drives were only one car could go between the house but then widened out to the garages. The more I think about them the more I think they are wired.
Now what can I do about the fence?
My post about the neighbours made me really start to think about my H. In some respect Maude you have unleashed something in me. I admire how you have faced your situation head on and are willing to examine everything in and around it. It has really made me start to think about my life.
I love my H very much but as I have pointed out in previous posts we have not had full on sex for years and there has been no partial sex for at least a couple. To graphic? If so I apologize. I have no doubt that he loves me but basically the relationship is on his terms and his terms only. My boss has always said that my Husband is afraid of me because of how strong I am. If anything my H is the one who dictates the entire make-up of the relationship. I wanted to move up north to be closer to people I knew. At the time we were renting I really did not have a stable job just temping and there were loads of jobs in his field. I really wanted to live in Darby but no we had to stay in crappy old Herne Bay.
There is loads of work that needs to be done around the house and he only works Monday through Thursday and some overtime on Fridays. When there is no overtime he could stay home on Fridays and get work done but no he has to see his mother. So stuff around the house just does not get done. For Christmas he was suppose to finish the kitchen as my gift. Lets just say it is not done. I did not even have a gift under the tree to unwrap. My friend from Texas is the only person who gave me a gift. Not to say that H did not buy me anything it was just I had to pick it out and take care of getting it. There was no thought or effort made this year on his part. It hurts to know that someone who I have not seen since the eight grade puts more thought into me than someone who is suppose to love me till death do us part.
We will not even mention the neighbour issue. This leads into when we first got married. After six months I almost divorced him. My previous relationship all Tony did was cheat on me and there was loads of emotional abuse along with some physical violence. H knows the entire story but insisted on seeing his ex all the time. She would call and he would go running. I told him I hated the way she was manipulating him and he was allowing it. I started to wonder if something was going on. The only reason why he ended seeing her was I told him that I was purchasing a ticket back to the States and then petitioning for a divorce. I do not believe that they were having an affair she wanted him back and used her child as an excuse to see him. H is her godfather. He refused to believe that was her motivation.
Right now I am not sure what will happen as financially I just cannot make it on my own. I hate building up a life and then having to end it due to a stupid man. I loved my house in New Hampshire and it killed me to have to sell it because Tony and I ended our relationship. I want to finish law school and see if I can get a job doing that. To do that I need to have stability. I do not want a divorce but a proper marriage.
At the moment every area of my life is just down the drain. I will not discuss work in the public forum as they monitor but lets just say it is not a happy position to be in right now.
Well we extended the bet regarding our neighbours by a week due to the snow. As of this Sunday H will have lost. He is of the opinion that he will loose and that they will not stop parking on our driveway. The other day she parked so close to the house that she almost blocked us from getting in and out of the door!
We have started to take a poll of friends and work colleagues and all agree that they are taking a liberty. I hate seeing their car in my driveway. All I can talk about on the way to work is that car and them taking advantage of us. But how I feel guilty because the male neighbour does help us out. Then I tell myself that we have done loads for them as well such as when he started his business we built their website. It never got published because we were not going to pay for the hosting site and they never got around to buying a site. I gave him loads of business advice which if he had to pay for would have cost quit a bit. We always offer to pay him for his building trade skills and he will only accept a small fee. When he started his business we put clients his way as well as was the first to purchase from him to get the business going. All agree that even in light of this they are seriously taking advantage of us.
He was suppose to fix our garage which we have already paid him to do and now two months on it has not been done. Plus he has our key to the garage which he has left some place. Not sure if he has gotten it back. We have a lot of expensive tools in there. I am sure no one knows what that key is too but the point is that he was very cavalier in keep the key safe.
They are the type of people who are nice but tend to loose site of boundaries. They see our house as an extension of theirs. They were the same way when the previous lady owned the house. They used her garage to store stuff in and it is the same now. We allowed ourselves to be put in a very difficult position because well I really cannot stand her but he is nice. It is hard to explain because I know stuff about them through work and have asked H for about a year now to back away from them and of course H just would not listen. Ugh why is he so stubborn and stupid at times?
gladysmurphey
maudefernwick
gertrudewinston
ailikeskimaki
arosy
abigailpetigrew1
who's raising their hand?